


胸がはち切れそうで

by saythe8



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, also if u read jicheol in 2020 u are VALID, also special shoutout to juju who read this before i did bc i cldn't make myself read it first, and i know this is short n it ends weirdly but i literally don't know what else to write, apparently i wrote this last night but i barely rmr it, i hope that's okay lmfao, if u see any mistakes pls lmk, like i woke up and this monster was loaded up on my computer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:40:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23502493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saythe8/pseuds/saythe8
Summary: lee jihoon has had enough and choi seungcheol should know better.(or rather, one half of jicheol has been pining for the other for years, so this is the story of him losing his mind.)
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	胸がはち切れそうで

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't written a proper fic in two years. i'm sorry.
> 
> (also, if u get the reference the title is making, i love u.)

jihoon has found himself doing the unthinkable. "seungcheol.” he's mashing his little baby hands all over the door, damn near clawing at it too. " _seungcheol_." he says, again, because he's pathetic and desperate. because he can't-- he _can't_ do this anymore, he has to-- he _has_ to tell seungcheol or he will die, he will die on the floor of his own room, desperate and alone and stupid in the way lee jihoon can be, in the _only_ way jihoon could be, because he's dumb, he's dumb and stupid and shitty, and seungcheol knows that, but he he can't. he can't. he can't breathe, he can't think, he can't fucking _do_ this anymore. he's-- he's gonna do it, for real, right now, because lee jihoon cannot take any more teasing and pulling and shitting around if he's just gonna go to his room and put his face in a pillow and scream. he's not gonna do it anymore if he's just gonna go to the bathroom and cry and act like he can't just-- he can't _just_ go to seungcheol and tell him and get this over with, _finally_ , so he can stop jerking off alone in the dark like a loser. like a _loser_ , jihoon.

\--

see, the thing about jihoon is that he can't be touched, but seungcheol is a very, _very_ , touchy person, to everybody, but to jihoon, too, because seungcheol knows it pisses jihoon off, even though it doesn't, it _doesn't_ piss him off, he just-- he _can't stand_ seungcheol, of all people, touching him, because...

because the real thing about jihoon is that he's had the biggest, fattest, largest, gay ass crush on seungcheol for days and weeks and months and _years_. and it seems like everybody else but seungcheol was catching the drift.

\--

example one, of the horrible phenomenon that is everybody else _but_ choi seungcheol figuring it out.

when seungcheol hugged jihoon, right in front of everybody, because he was proud of him for finishing a song after he had been working on it for so so _so_ long, and jihoon bursted into flames _immediately_. he sputtered, incredulous, and he could _hear_ jeonghan whispering to jisoo and soonyoung, seokmin, _and_ seungkwan giggling like the little shits they are, and had always been.

the clamoring didn't help him at all, really, because all it did was make jihoon go even more red, much like the roses he saw when he was walking back to the apartment after finishing the aforementioned song.

**(06/13).**

example two, of the horrible phenomenon that is everybody else _but_ choi seungcheol figuring it out.

when seungcheol came into the kitchen, fresh out the shower, with only a towel around his hips, and jihoon didn't even have enough time to process before he could _feel_ the heat in his ears, strong and heavy, much like seungcheol's muscles. jihoon was pinching himself in the hand when junhui, who was sitting on one of the kitchen stools, noticed, and jihoon _saw_ him realize. _saw it with his own two eyes._ junhui simply winked and wandered off, to leave him alone with half naked seungcheol (or, fully naked, if you really think about it, and jihoon was _really_ thinking about it).

junhui's departure didn't help him at all, really, because now there was a blush crawling its way onto his cheeks, and he was red, so red, akin to a tomato, even.

**(07/13).**

example three, of the horrible phenomenon that is everybody else _but_ choi seungcheol figuring it out.

when seungcheol sang, like, really sang, the lines jihoon wrote, with the melody he wrote, too, and his eyes were watering, and hansol noticed too, because it was his turn next in the recording booth, and he.... well, hansol laughed, laughed right in jihoon's face, right into the mic, like a shithead. his laughter caught chan's attention, who wasn't too far behind hansol in terms of using the booth, and he looked between hansol and jihoon long enough to catch the drift. a smile spread itself across his face, and it was wicked as much as it was knowing, which was a lot. even the youngest caught on, which left jihoon in a despair like no other.

the laughter didn't help him at all, really, because there were still tears in his eyes, and there were no napkins or tissues, just jihoon, with his sleeves that were rapidly wiping away his moment of weakness.

**(09/13).**

example four, of the horrible phenomenon that is everybody else _but_ choi seungcheol figuring it out.

when seungcheol came home after their first win, worn out and still crying, just like half the group still was, but especially jihoon. _especially jihoon_. all of them were proud in their own right, but jihoon-- he had worked hard for years, did so much for years, strived for awards for years, and he's finally here, finally getting recognition, and seungcheol was crying too, because he was the leader, because he worked hard too. they slumped near the couch, together, exhausted and sobbing, and they held each other, close and compact. jihoon knows he should be flustered, or red, or embarrassed, but he was too overwhelmed to be any of those things, because they had won, they had _fucking_ won, and the gazes he got from the members who knew and the members who didn't wouldn't phase him at all, because he was leaning into seungcheol and still crying, and yeah, maybe this is what made wonwoo, mingyu, and minghao realize, but he didn't care then. he cares now, of course, but then, he was sad, but he was happy, he was happy to be in seungcheol's arms, after years of work, after years of yearning. he was happy, and he didn't care that he could hear minghao rapidly talking to junhui in mandarin (his tone alone was enough to convince him that minghao knew, and also because he recognized a couple words that would make his face stain pink, had he not been preoccupied), he didn't care that he could hear mingyu and wonwoo talking amongst themselves, rushed and quiet enough for jihoon to not be able to make out any words, but when he raised his head, he met wonwoo's eyes, and he knew. he knew, because he nodded, looked at mingyu, and lead the rest of the boys to their rooms, leaving jihoon alone, still in seungcheol's arms, upset but happy, excited but weary.

their leave didn't help him at all, really, because he was still in seungcheol's arms, alone, and he was so _there_ that jihoon had finally realized the position he was in, which caused his heart leap into his throat at an embarrassingly high speed.

**(12/13).**

\--

jihoon was still banging on seungcheol's door, desperate to get in, desperate to tell him something he should've told him years ago, because he has had enough, because everybody else knows, because he was sad and tired of seungcheol being the only one here who couldn't see that he loved him, he loved him so much, for years and months and weeks and _days_ now, and seungcheol keeps playing with him, keeps playing with his heart like it was the goddamn piano jihoon was sitting on when they filmed the very nice music video, and he's... he's so tired. so sad. so desperate.

" _seungcheol_." he says, again, because he can't, he can't, he needs to get into the room, and it was on the next bang that seungcheol finally opened the door, swinging it all the way open just to see what the fuck is going on. "seungcheol." he breathes out, and it feels like he's floating, he's so breathless.

"yeah, jihoon?" he says, simply, like jihoon isn't dying right in front of him, like jihoon isn't rotting from the inside out.

"seungcheol. seungcheol. seungcheol. i love you. i love you. i love you so much. and you-- you haven't seen it, even after all this time, even after all these years, even after everybody knows but you, seungcheol, and i- i..." he can't. he's going too fast for his brain, too fast for his mouth to catch up, he wants to say so much but he's so little, too little for his heart to keep beating as hard as it is, and he hiccups, because now he's crying, just like he said he wouldn't, and seungcheol is taking his hand and leading him into the room, shutting the door, while jihoon is barely comprehending what's even going _on_. he's so lost, so far gone, he barely did anything, he barely did what he set himself out to do, but he's crying, crying in the middle of seungcheol's room, and he can't even bare to look at seungcheol because he's burning too, burning like a fireplace, ears pink like cherry blossoms.

 _'it's spring.'_ jihoon thinks, briefly, and this thought rings through his ears like his world wasn't ending, like he didn't just confess his feelings to the man he's loved for years.

"i know, jihoon. i've known for longer than you think."

jihoon looks up. seungcheol's there, messy but beautiful, lovely but terrible, looking at him with eyes that shine like stars, full of love and adoration and care, and jihoon nearly throws himself across the world.

"you--" a hiccup, because he's still crying, because he's still pathetic, "you do?" jihoon says, dumbly, like he's deaf or something, and seungcheol just nods, still looking at him like jihoon holds the world in his hands, and jihoon suddenly doesn't feel like crying anymore. he feels warm, like a vat of honey, gooey and wonderful, and seungcheol is sitting on the floor now too, next to jihoon, who is unable to do a damn thing. he's paralyzed, but he's warm like a sunny day, and seungcheol wipes away his tears like jihoon did to himself that night in the recording booth, and then seungcheol hugs him, much like that day when jihoon finished the song, and he holds him, much like that day of their first win.

"i know, jihoon. i love you too, jihoon."

jihoon nods, just like seungcheol just did moments ago, and holds him too, and they sit there for what seems like hours. they sit there, and they hold each other, and they love each other, and jihoon is convinced that he's done it, he's told seungcheol, and he can finally stop being a loser and a coward for the rest of his life.

he's finally told seungcheol, the man he's loved for years, about his love for him, about his crush on him, and seungcheol likes him too, seungcheol _loves_ him too.

jihoon thinks choi seungcheol has finally figured it out.

**(13/13).**

**Author's Note:**

> i think i wrote this in a fit of loving lee jihoon. maybe. idk. but i hope this was coherent enough to be understandable lmfaoooooooo.


End file.
